Unknown

Sometimes we tend to decide on things without knowing what influenced our decision. We just assumed that we are following our intuition (which is common for women). Another case would be not decide to do something just because we are listening to our gut feeling. It is not fair to just leave it like that. We don't do something because somewhere in the universe we are hearing a silent whisper that we are not suppose to do it or we do certain things because there is a nagging voice inside our head that tells us we just have do it.

This voice, is the summary of all the uncertainties and unknown. We are most afraid of the unknown. We are often blaming the uncertainties of life if our choices turned out worse results. In my case I am often afraid to take risks not because I don't want to fail, I just don't know what will happen. It is often something bigger than us like a blackhole that sucks life out of us. We think we can handle it, we are better than it, and we have managed to face it bravely but the truth is we are are under its mercy. I have to stop now

I am breaking out of my rut.

I started by watching chick flicks, I realized that it has a certain effect on my mood. Strange as it may seem the hollywood formula for chick flicks can make you laugh, cry and fall in love in a matter of 2 hours max.

I watched a Korean movie which I avoid because I cannot keep up with the subtitles. But when I watched it I realized that I a actually a fast reader. Windstruck is such a nice movie. It makes me want to feel giddy and excited to be with a guy in a very PG way.

I am planning to move out soon. so that I can be more mature and really independent. I hate this pseudo independent claim, when I still live off my parents income.

Work out more than once a day. I realized that I don't hate working out, but I hate sweating. I haven't been doing strenous activities that will make me perspire for quite sometime now thus I have a deepwell of sweat that I need to get rid off. I am like a sponge and I have to squeeze all the excess water reatined by my body.

Because of limited resources I can only do all these in the meantime. But I know the list will be long!!!